Blended Mc Frogs

I couldn’t sleep tonight, I tossed and turned and nuggled against David and shoved David out of the way…and repeated….and repeated….  I thought maybe I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking too much again.  Ever done that?  Yeah, I can’t turn off my brain sometimes, and sometimes I like it.  But I was thinking about how to turn my driveway back to the cement color it was before 4 p.m. tonight.  See, I hose the porch off after planting flowers and it looks like Joe tried to throw away a pink smoke bomb and it missed the trash can so instead it melted and turned the driveway pink.  So I was wondering about that….  And then I thought that maybe I couldn’t sleep because last Friday night/Saturday morning I woke up at 4 a.m. and David got up with me and we ate Banana Nut Cheerios and snuggled and talked on the couch and had the BEST FOUR A.M. TIME EVER in the history of man and woman!!!  So I thought maybe I wanted a repeat of that….

But then it hit me.  I know why I can’t sleep.  It’s been ten years ago today that I was woken up by that awful call at 4 a.m. in the morning - my dad died.  I still miss him so bad, I’m glad my stepmother called me at 4 a.m., I often wondered about that, if you wait until the morning or you call right away.  I think I would have been disappointed to not know right away.  And I know it’s the worst call in the world to make.  My David lost his dad six months ago, I wish I could tell him it gets better, but it doesn’t.  It’s just not as fresh.

Thanks again Dad, I wish I could tell you and show you who I am now.  You’d like David now Dad, he’s not in high school any more.  And I, God willing, always will be.  Love you Dad, see you again.

I’m cooking dinner today!  Not by choice, really.  Not because I don’t like to…I do.  It’s just that mostly I stink at it.  I have to make dinner because David did something only David can explain to his neck and he looks like a stick man, not turning his head.  Its like he has an invisible neck brace on.  I try not to laugh…it’s so sad…but I am BANISHED to the kitchen, where usually my only contribution is finding Valuable Money Saving Offers in the Sunday paper and pointing them out to the kitchen bitch…I mean David. 

So I put the chicken in the oven, and I promise myself that THIS TIME it will be good.  It just makes me wonder at what point my children realized that their mother couldn’t cook.  I mean, I’ve heard the horror stories of dry chicken, hammer like chicken, but when did they say “HEY! Chicken isn’t supposed to taste like a towel!”  Because there was a day…once upon a time….when everything I did was mostly perfect!  And they ate the damn chicken. 

My boy is coming home soon for two weeks R & R from the desert!  I mean he will be here for his birthday!  woot!  I am so going to make him chicken!

Well….I had jury duty, which was very cool in a miss-work-and-get-behind sort of way!  But I got picked to be on the jury and we deliberated today….but before we could deliberate, I had to get to the courthouse.

It has snowed a TON here this month.  We shovel the driveway in time for it to snow again.  Needless to say, there’s a huge pile at the end of the driveway from the snowplow clearing the street.  So this morning, I start backing out of the driveway and find myself STUCK at the end of the driveway, deep in snow. 

I tried to drive the car out and rock it back and forth, but let’s face it, I’m such a girl sometimes.  I don’t know about wheel turning and when to hit the gas or the brake…okay, only in this situation, I know when to do it regularly.  I decide I’m going to stomp out of the car, go to the house, and get David to save me.  He is a man, he knows how to get a car out of the snow. 

BUT!  My door wouldn’t open!  I think “There’s snow all the way up to the door! It won’t open!”.  I try and try the handle and try and try pushing the door open with all my might.  I’m getting ready to cry again.  I’m stuck in my car!  At the end of the driveway!

David sees my predicament, and comes strolling out to help me.  He comes to the car and tells me to get out, he will drive the car out.  I say “I’m stuck inside!  The door won’t open!  The snow won’t let the door open!  I’m stuck inside!”. 

David calmly says…..”unlock the door”.

Oops.

The cabin was amazing!  We have found our new Christmas and summer hideaway, it’s perfect!  And there’s enough room for everyone and everybody…that is, whoever is around can come with us with more than enough privacy..unless they are bitter, angry, moody, or a jackass.  Then they can stay home!!  See ya!

So we got back from the cabin, still amazed at the great time we had…and quietly celebrated our one year anniversary.  I am so thankful for this man, David, my life and my love.  This man that I come home to after a hard day’s work, who helps me with cleaning and laundry and cuts my fabric for me.  When I look at him my heart wants to explode.  I love you baby boo!

Happy Holidays, Fambily! 

We are off to the cabin….we will think of you often and fondly…Love you!!!

Baby Boo & Nuggle Bunny (you decide which one’s which…)

Joe came running down the stairs tonight - which is weird because sometimes we don’t see him.  He disappears into his cave and growls if we try to rouse him.  So he was all excited and he said “MOM!  I want the bedroom next to mine!” 

Mom:  WHY?

Joe:  I want it to be my armory.  I want my room and that room.

Mom:  Oh wow.  Have we forgotten to include you in our talks?  Sit down.  David!  We need to talk to boy!  Ok, Joe, tell David what you just told me.

Joe:  David, I need the room next to mine.

David:  Why?

Joe:  For my armory.

David:  Why do you need an armory?

Joe:  For my weapons.

David:  What weapons?

Joe:  The weapons I’m going to buy. 

David:  How?

Joe:  With money from my job.

David:  What job?

Joe:  The job I’m going to get.

David:  As soon as you get a job, pay your car insurance and gas money, and buy your weapons, let me know how many weapons you have and I’ll build you an armory.

Joe:  Okay, but I should have an armory for the weapons I’m going to buy with money from the job I’m going to get soon.  Because I got boned out of the basement. 

David:  How’d you get boned out of the basement?

Joe:  Because I was going to move into it and then I turn around and you moved a gigantic sewing machine in it.

David:  It’s our house.

Joe:  I need an armory.

David:  You need a job.

Joe:  Can I open my Christmas presents early?  Since I leave Saturday for Denver.  I should open them now.

Mom:  Yeah, the same thing happened last year.  I got boned out of Christmas.

David:  Thank you baby, we’ll do it again this year!

Conversation over!

Last night I made scotcheroos for the food day at work.  It was hard because I couldn’t get the chips to melt very well in the microwave and I forgot how a stove works so I had to individually squish them in the bowl — good thing the bowl heated up even if the chips didn’t melt.  Owwwiiieeee…..

This morning, I actually REMEMBERED to bring them to work.  That is quite the feat for me.  I’m mostly asleep until 9 a.m. or so.  So I went out to the truck, that I had started to pre-heat ten minutes earlier, and tried to jump in and go to work.  Hard to jump in when you have a coffee cup, purse, a pan of food, and THE FREAKING DOOR IS LOCKED.  Yes.  I locked my keys in the truck.  While it was running.

So I did what any 43 year old grown woman with half a brain would do.  I cried.  The tears froze.  I cried more, I think I actually gasped for breath.  Then I called David.  “BAAAABBBYYYY!!!  I locked my keys in the truck.”  It’s okay, he said, he will help me.  “WHILE IT’S RUNNING BABY!  IT’S RUNNING!”  sob.

Poor baby had to turn around and come and rescue me.  I tried to get it unlocked by myself, even though he said he was on his way home, but all I could find was a butter knife.  It wasn’t much help.  And it was snowing and the snow made my hairspray melt and I had a bad hair day ALL DAY.  And my scotcheroos were like rocks, people couldn’t even get them out of the pan…I’m a key locking, bad hair, food day LOSER today. 

BUT!  My doctor called with my test results!  I’m still in remission!  What a great day!

I need a new microwave. 

I can’t believe I am saying that.  I went YEARS without a microwave.  My first one was from my daddy while I was living in my run-down apartment with the stinky carpet, no furniture, and one potato in the fridge.  He got it from the bar he tended part-time to get away from my mother.  I went to the bar a lot on weekends, for the same reason.  It was the size of a volkswagen - the microwave, not my mother.   And it cooked the potato really good, but I don’t think I ever had enough food in that apartment to really test the limits of it.

Then I had kids.  In fact, ol’ Boogers first outfits were brought home to that apartment, although he wasn’t born when I lived there.  For that, I moved back home.  And then I was poor.  Most people whine about being poor, and I probably did too at the time…nah, I didn’t, I’m not much of a whiner unless it’s about the cold or freakin’ American-wasting Wal-Mart, but I figured it out and am actually glad for the experience of being poor, because you know that’s not where you ever want to go again and you’ll do anything to NOT be there again.  Because you’ve been.

So I didn’t have a microwave.  My mostly amazing stepson recently told me while we were talking over the points of ‘want’ vs. ‘need’, that a microwave is a necessity.  I scoffed at him.  Bah, I walked two miles uphill both ways barefoot to heat that potato.  You don’t need a stinkin’ microwave. 

So while I was making scotcheroos for the amazing work food day tomorrow (I’ll be rolling home tomorrow!!  I bet NOBODY brings veggies), I was having a hard time getting the chips for the frosting to melt.  They wouldn’t go down, wouldn’t turn into frosting.  It was annoying.  David informed me that microwaves loose their potential over time.  I had no idea.  I’m going to need something soon to get these chips melted. 

I need a new microwave.

GUESS WHAT!?!  Walnuts come in a WAY different package than you ever would have possible!  OK, so David and I had to get up early and go to Camp Dodge for Joe’s JROTC competition.  Joe wasn’t actually “competing” in this event - it’s his first year so he was the designated clip-board carrier.  But MAN, he was the best damn clip-board carrier EVER!  Mama’s so proud!

Soooo….back on topic, we were there at Camp Dodge at 9 freaking a.m. on a Saturday morning (which meant I had to actually SHOWER before noon on a SATURDAY) waiting for boy to finish mopping the floor of the mess hall (weird, I know) when we spotted a tree that had tennis balls on it!  Well, actually, Pal found the tree, we were just taking Pal, I mean Pal was taking us for a walk when we saw this odd tree.  I picked up a tennis ball tree fruit thingy, and made David stomp it open.  He gets all the fun.  And guess what we found out!  The tennis balls had walnuts in them!  AWESOME!  Free walnuts!  I need some! 

We were by the side of the road, not a busy road, but an occasional car going-by road…I didn’t actually want to be SEEN scavaging for free government-owned walnuts (are there government cheese trees anywhere?) so we would sit by the tree, pretend we were playing with Pal, and then when no cars were coming by, we scooped up tennis balls, I mean walnuts, into a bag.  Pal got a little confused by the attention turn on, turn off thing.  Then, we dumped them in the trunk of the car, and repeated the whole process until our trunk was pretty full.  Not terribly full, but enough.

So guess where the walnuts are now? 

Still in the trunk.  Who wants to shell a bunch of walnuts?  They’re free!

you need to start accually using this! I’m not going to update your crap again unless you do! YOU SUCK AT THIS!!! ha ha ha